I live in where i live (sorry if it doesn't make sense)
I was born on November 9
My occupation is smashing apples with a friend onto a concrete floor then throwing the remains into a lava pit then dropping Jupiter onto the melted apple remains (seriously, apples are the worse type of fruit)
Why, hello, Gsun3! I've heard rumors that something of interest is afoot — and that is you! Saaaay, I don't think I've ever seen you around before. I'm MasterLau, but the name's much too stuffy and all, so I reeeally would prefer you to simply call me Lau. Welcome to Kuroshitsuji Wiki, the Great Empire. It has come to my attention that you've made an edit to the article What is Grell's actual gender?. Myyy — ! That has piqued my curiosity! Good tidings to you! Thank you for the effort. You'll find that joining this Empire will bring about quite a spiffing adventure!
But, we must not discuss such an important matter so hastily. Come, let us have a spot of tea while we speak at leisure.
Do you fancy Jackson's Earl Grey tea? What lovely aroma!
Dear, dear. Now that we've settled down, we shall commence business. I'm your helper for today, so here I am, reporting for duty! You are new here, yes, and much is to be discovered by you about this Empire — every nook and cranny is a mystery yet to be unearthed. An endless abundance of missions is assigned by Her Majesty for you to complete!
There are urgent missions such as Stubs — the Queen is very dubious about their credibility, and since they are lacking information, perhaps you can fill the essentials in for them, hmmm? Other missions can be found at Manga Mission, Anime Mission, Image Mission, and Revision & Reference Mission! Each one is managed by an aristocratic family — in fact, the last one listed there, the R&R Mission, is headed by yours truly! More details are available on their respective pages.
You can become an invaluable Watchdog for this Empire, working specifically for the sake of the Queen's happiness. While carrying out your missions, please pay careful attention to your edits — always preview before publishing; you wouldn't want to risk incurring the Queen's wrath. We Watchdogs and Aristocrats of Evil are constantly prowling the streets of the Empire via the Wiki Activity or Recent Changes, so we will see what you are doing, and we will intervene if need be. Follow the policies at all costs; these are the fundamental rules set by Her Majesty — you are aware that Scotland Yard is not too kind to lawbreakers, yes?
As a resident here, you must take the initiative to eradicate any form of defilement to the Empire, such as vandalism, by curbing it with the Undo button (or the Rollback button once you are elevated to Watchdog status). And, if you vandalize — a pity if you do — you are part of the Underground and have no place here in respectable society! Beware, there will be severe consequences; repeated offenses may get you banished to the East End, permanently or not. Take heeeed!
Furthermore, even if it is a mite sad, I must inform you: Her Majesty is ill and frail — but, do not view her slightly, for her exceptional strength of character illuminates the Empire — and, therefore, she cannot personally give orders and regulate the Empire. However, the remarkably wise Queen has long granted monarchical powers to these four well-distinguished individuals who labor tirelessly to sustain the health of the Empire: Sovereigns C. Phantom and Tsuminohime, Grand Duchess TerriaNight, and Grand Duke MasterLau — me! We share the Queen's sentiments for a brilliant and formidable Empire, and we have the ultimate authority in this Empire (other Empires you've probably visited may refer to us as Administrators). Do not aggravate us, I beseech you, for we will show you no mercy! Buuuut, do not let that frighten you off, either; if you dutifully execute your missions and demonstrate good conduct, you will get along with us just fine!
Ah, do forgive me! I was so caught up in our discourse over tea that I've regretfully lost track of time! We'll have to end this here, as I have numerous missions to oversee and fulfill. Excuse me for rambling incessantly; it was pleasant chatting with you, nevertheless! It is my deepest wish that my exposition was deemed beneficial by you.
If you have any queries you would like to address, you may ask the Sovereigns. Or, you can even pose those questions to me, a Watchdog and Aristocrat. Rest assured, we won't abandon you to your own devices so callously, my friend — never hesitate to ask questions! Leave me a letter here. I'll try to respond as swiftly as possible. Do your best; I have faith in you!
This message is automatically sent to every new user on Kuroshitsuji Wiki, with no direct human control, so I did not actually send you this warm welcome — how outrageously innovative is that, considering the fact that we're dwelling in the late 19th century (the future is bright for us all)! My job here in the Empire is to provide assistance to new users, in order to guide them away from the dark path of the Underground. Make as many constructive contributions as you can! — Lau