The Butler, Wandering is Chapter 184 of the Kuroshitsuji manga.
Summary[]
Baldroy tells Sebastian that, ever since the day his wife and son were killed, he has been rootless and restlessly fought in many battles against the natives all over America. He became a true expert at killing and eventually only lived in order to kill, not to avenge his family anymore. He killed everyone in front of his eyes he deemed his enemy and saw his comrades be killed while he kept on surviving. At some point, Baldroy realized why the head of his village said back then that things were not that "simple": A happy, ordinary, quiet life does not exist. What was the settlers' and their ancestors' dreams and hopes are the natives' nightmare. Their land was invaded, they were exploited, and what happened to Baldroy's village and the other villagers were the natives' justice, or rather, revenge for everything that was done to them. However, even after realizing this, Baldroy could not stop fighting and killing and was unable to forgive them. He kept on going and became known as the "invincible private soldier." At the end, he even tried to eat the corpse of one of his comrades to survive.
Baldroy says that all he did was "insane," but Sebastian replies that he is the most ordinary human at Phantomhive Manor because, unlike the others, he fears death. Sebastian recruited him for this very reason. Then, he tells Baldroy that they should stop cleaning and head to bed because they need to wake up early tomorrow. Perplexed, Baldroy looks around and sees that Sebastian must have cleaned everything up without him noticing.
The next day, Finnian comes into the kitchen where Baldroy, Sebastian, and Mey-Rin are to announce that Sam and his grandson have come with the weekly supplies. They head out to carry everything inside and talk to Sam and the grandson. Sam tells Sebastian that his dairy cow gave birth to a calf; he hopes she will be like her mother and produce a lot of milk. His grandson adds that, thanks to Ciel, the soil is fertile and, thus, grass grows well around here, so they have nothing to worry. Hearing this, Baldroy says to the grandson that he will look forward to this "sweet and nutritious" milk.
Then, Baldroy spots Ciel watching them from a window and thinks about what Sebastian told him about no one else fearing death but him in the manor. He cannot dwell on this thought long though because Finnian interrupts him to show him a carrot with "legs"; Sebastian scolds him for this and tells him to concentrate on work.
Baldroy knows that he will never get the ordinary, quiet life he and his ancestors dreamed of, but for his own and his loved ones' sake, he will set root at Phantomhive Manor and keep on living.
In the present, Baldroy concludes his story to Ada, telling her that they both lost what they loved and still survived. Unlike him who was driven by hate and killed many, however, she overcame her sorrow and saved many, becoming the "Miracle Healer."
Ronald listens to their conversation from the other side of the door, holding his Grim Reaper journal.